Body Language Signals

Introduction

Body language is a very powerful communication tool that is important in both personal and professional relationships.
"...Body language is the use of physical behaviour, expressions, and mannerisms to communicate non-verbally, often done instinctively rather than consciously..."
Jeanne Segal et al, 2022

The words that come out of your mouth and your body language can convey different meanings. If there is a contradiction between the 2 messages, people will most likely choose the non-verbal responses over the verbal one as
"...body language is a natural, unconscious language that broadcasts your true feelings and intentions..."
Jeanne Segal et al, 2022

For example, if you say 'yes' while shaking your head to imply 'no', most people will choose the 'no' and be concerned that you are being dishonest.
"...your non-verbal communication cues - the way you listen, look, move, and react - will tell the person you're communicating with whether or not you care, if you're being truthful and how well you're listening. When your non-verbal signals matchup with the words you're saying, they increase trust, clarity, and rapport. If they don't, they generate tension, mistrust and confusion..."
Jeanne Segal et al, 2022

You need to develop sensitivity to your own body language and other people's.

Main Types of Body Language

- facial expressions (the human face is extremely expressive and can convey emotions without saying a word; facial expressions are universal, ie expressions of happiness, sadness, anger, surprise, fear, disgust, etc are the same across most cultures)

- body movements, stance and posture (how you sit, walk, stand, hold your head, etc communicates a wealth of information like interest, relaxed, etc)

- gestures (mostly done with your hands; subconscious dominates; as can have different meanings in different cultures, need to be careful how you use gestures to avoid this interpretation)

- eye contact (are you making eye contact?
"...the way you look at someone can communicate many things, including interest, affection, hostility, or attraction. Eye contact is also important in maintaining the flow of conversation and for gauging the other person's interest and response..."
Jeanne Segal et al, 2022)

- touch (can provide different messages like
"...a weak handshake, a warm bear hug, patronising pat on the head, or controlling grip of the arm..."
Jeanne Segal et al, 2022

Is it appropriate? Generally in Asian cultures, physically touching somebody is frowned upon while in many European cultures it can be a welcoming sign of friendship.

- space (the distance you stand with another person can send powerful messages like signals of intimacy and affection, aggression or dominance, etc; the impact varies between cultures, situations and closeness of the relationships

- voice (it is more than the words, it's how you say them
"...other people 'read' your voice in addition to listening to your words. Things they pay attention to include the timing and pace, how loudly you speak, your tone and inflection and sounds that convey understanding, such as 'ahh' and 'uh-huh'..."
Jeanne Segal et al, 2022

Your tone of voice can indicate a range of responses like sarcasm, anger, affection, confidence, warmth, interest, etc

- appearance (the way you dress, from formal business attire to casual clothes, etc can send powerful messages)

- presence and absence (whether you attend or don't attend some activity can send powerful messages, etc; punctuality versus lateness, eg being late can show disrespect)

NB The interpretations of many body language types can vary depending upon their cultural context.

Also, body language 'speaks louder than words'. They can strengthen or damage your communications.

It is very hard to fake body language and/or control it
"...You can't control all the signals you are constantly sending out about what you're really thinking and feeling. And the harder you try, the more unnatural your signals are likely to come across..."
Jeanne Segal et al, 2022

At times, you can make a conscious effort to suppress some negative signals by maintaining an open stance, maintaining eye contact, not crossing your arms, having a calm voice, etc.

Main roles of body language

- repetition (it strengthens the message you're making verbally)

- contradiction (it can conflict with the message you are verbally conveying and indicate that you are not telling the truth)

- substitution (it replaces your verbal message like
"...your facial expression often conveys a far more vivid message than words ever can..."
Jeanne Segal et al, 2022

- complementing (it reinforces your verbal message)

- accenting (it can strengthen your verbal message)

Ways to Improve Non-verbal Communications

"... If you want to communicate effectively, avoid misunderstandings, and enjoy solid, trusting relationships both socially and professionally, it is important to understand how to use and interpret body language and improve your human communications skills..."
Jeanne Segal et al, 2022

- learn to manage stress (stress compromises your ability to communicate, ie more likely to misinterpret other people's body language, to send out confusing non-verbal signals and lapse into unhealthy knee-jerk patterns of behaviour; emotions are contagious, eg if you are upset, this can influence others and make a bad situation worse; if overwhelmed by stress, take a break to regain your emotional equilibrium so that you can better handle the situation, ie relax and refocus by using your senses like seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, touching, etc)

- develop emotional awareness (be aware of your emotions and how they influence you and others; understand the true feelings behind the cues; it involves
"... i) accurately reading other people, including the emotions they're feeling and the unspoken messages they're sending
      ii) creating trusting relationships by sending non-verbal signals that matchup with your words
      iii) responding in ways that show others that you understand and care..."
Jeanne Segal et al, 2022

NB You can try to deny or numb your feelings but you cannot eliminate them; they are present and still affecting your behaviour

- be fully present (be fully focused on the moment-to-moment experience; minimise distractions like checking your phone, thinking about something else, etc)

More on Reading Body Language

- pay attention to inconsistencies (non-verbal communications should reinforce what is being said)

- group non-verbal signals together (be careful of putting too much focus on a single gesture, cue, etc; need to consider all the non-verbal signals you are receiving)

- trust your instincts (don't underestimate your gut feeling)