Conversational Intelligence

Introduction
Conversational intelligence is important part of communications.
Everyone spends a great deal of their lives in conversations like interviews, focus groups, F2F, meetings, phones, etc.
Your skills in conversation can have an important impact on yours and others performance.
"...getting to the next level......depends on the quality of culture, which depends on the quality of relationships, which depends on the quality of conversations. Everything happens through conversations..."
Judith Glaser, 2024
It is universal intelligence
"... It's hardwired in every human being. Everyone is born with it.  Since we have it, the question is what do we do with it? How do we develop it, how do we cultivated it? How do we enable people to discover that conversational intelligence is what connects human beings to one another? It impacts our mind, our hearts, our chemistry, and who we become. Our past, present and future is hardwired to our conversation with others..."
Judith Glaser, 2024
You need to understand effective powerful conversational rituals that prime the brain for for activities like developing trust, partnership and mutual success.
Using neuroscience
Conversational intelligence is based on neuroscience, ie how the brain processes the words we hear.
The use of the wrong word can trigger the brain's amygdala (flight, fight or freeze reaction) and the lower brain (primitive) to close down your prefrontal cortex (the thinking part of your brain that includes wisdom, insight, strategy, foresight, etc); it locks down the path of our brain which has the explicit ability to connect with others.
In extreme cases, we focus so strongly on protecting ourselves that we cannot connect with other human beings as our brain is dominated by thinking how to protect yourself, ie sole focus on yourself and no one else.
Levels of conversation (3)
There is 'push and pull' energy when people are in conversations, ie
- push (when somebody talks and ask things)
- pull (when somebody talks and tells things)
When 'push and pull' work together you have healthy conversation; if they get out of sync, the conversation starts to break down and behaviour changes from friendly to difficult.
Level 1 - transactional (confirm what you know, tell and ask)
Level 2 - positional (going well, ie
"...persuading and advocating  and enquiring. When you aren't doing it well, you're addicted to being right..."
Judith Glaser, 2024
Level 3 - transformational (co-creating rather than collaboration; it is about how you can help each other
"...where you create the rules of engagement. Where you open it up so your non--judgmental, you create 'listen' and 'listen to connect', ask questions for which you don't have the answers. The key is not knowing something, is asking questions are discovering what you don't know you don't know..."
Judith Glaser, 2024
"...when our energy fields connect, we do feel trust and we do find our brain opening up, we also do find that neuro innovations......that we actually start to have a whole level of conductivity of our brains. we are sharing in an energetic way things that are not even conscious to us. That's what creates an appetite for conversations, even if they're difficult..."
Judith Glaser, 2024
Using conversational intelligence
- turning conflict in conversation (many people get frightened and get into a conflict.  Unfortunately, they don't know how to face someone else and work it through. Need to change from 'listening to understand' to 'listening to connect'.
'Listening to understand' is confirming what you know, ie level 1 (transactional). While 'listening to connect' is moving to level 3 (transformational)